PRIVATE VIEW
(That’s what some-one said)

What I like about St Ives are The Private Views
(Openings to You)
Where all the “Arty Farty folk
(most of whom aren’t “Arty”) meet to discuss
Art they don’t understand , with folk they don’t know
Or. people they don’t like. Usually “friends.”

(That’s what some-one said)

They gather round like sheep (Damien Hirsts of course)
Bleating their lengthy discourse
and ejaculating with the use of their one free hand
Positive noises about the use of colour
Which can be it seems Brash and Daring, Weak or Bold
Or “Form,” which can it seems be good bad
Or indifferent Rather like a football teams
While their other hand holds wine , little finger held aloft
Sipping gossip and saying
“It’s all a matter of taste Dahling”
(Gnats pee usually.).
But they don’t complain
Cos like the food it’s free.or subsidised
.And that’s why we’re here, you and me
But they don’t understand about art..
unlike me and you. It‘s all about
Controversy or CON troversy…
The Tate…? It’s like a great big Wedding Cake

(The little Old lady said)