Well folks it all happened like this..
I was in a bar in Memphis Christmas day
Alone because I travel that way
And The country Western Band well
They just kept on droning on
And I’m sorry folks to take the piss
But all your bands sound just like this
So I decided there and then to write
A country Western Song….

(And this is how it goes folks.)

Railroooo-ad the wheels will keep on turning
Freight Traiiiiiiii---n it just keeps on rollin on
Railooooo-ad you know your heart is yearning
So everybody clap your hands to sing my crazy song

Well I’m sorry folks to take the piss
But all your bands sound just like this
With a dead man on The Zimmer Frame
And old Hank on the Guitar
And Dolly Partons greatest- hits
All have lyrics just like this
Ma\Ma\ Ma Pa Ma Horse\ma girl
And gee I Luv Ma Car…..

Railroooo-ad the wheels will keep on turning
Freight Traiiiiiiii---n it just keeps on rollin on
Railooooo-ad you know your heart is yearning
So everybody clap your hands to sing my crazy song

Well I’m sorry sorry folks to take the piss
but all your bands sound just like this
With a dead man on the Zimmer frame
And ole Hank on the Guitar
Then to stop the punters getting bored
You sometimes try a change of Chord…
But maybe you’d be better off stayng as you are..

Railroooo-ad the wheels will keep on turning
Freight Traiiiiiiii---n it just keeps on rollin on
Railooooo-ad you know your heart is yearning
So everybody clap your hands to sing my crazy song

Then you go for “the sympathy vote”
Ma triplets died last Xmas day
They were Ho’Ho’ed down by Santa’s sleigh
They strapped ma\Pa into The Chair
At Memphis County Jail
A Mountain lion ate My horse
My wife’s demanding a divorce
Me pregnant girlfrined killed herself
And wrote off my new car.

Railroooo-ad the wheels will keep on turning
Freight Traiiiiiiii---n it just keeps on rollin on
Railooooo-ad you know your heart is yearning
So everybody clap your hands to sing my crazy song

Now everybody sing this trash I’ll be knee deep
In Johnny Cash..and if you’re ever down
In Memphis way drop in at my new bar
So come on you Country western Folk
And prove that you can take a joke
With Ma\ ma Ma| Pa\Ma Horse\ma Gal
And\ gee I Love Ma Car…

(Once more for “The Sympathy Vote “?)
Ok Then…….
Ma triplets died last Xmas day
They were Ho’Ho’ed down by Santa’s sleigh
They strapped ma\Pa into The Chair
At Memphis County Jail
A Mountain lion ate My horse
My wife’s demanding a divoss
Me pregnant girlfriend killed herself
And wrote off my new car.

That’s all folks.. Except….Did I ever tell you about Ole Shep ?